PREGNANCY JOURNEY MADE EASY!
We support women step by step through their pregnancy and empower them to become the mother they want to be!
Thank you for being here and
lovely to meet you!
My name is Shirley McGowan King and I'm the passionate founder of Mom To Be Sisterhood.
I was born in Germany to an Italian mother and an American dad. I was very lucky to be born in a multicultural and multilingual family as it has provided me with a lot of opportunities in my private life as well as in my professional career.
I grew up in a typically large and loud Italian family which provided me with a great insight and values of family life. I was lucky to learn to speak and write all three languages and live and work in Germany, Italy, Switzerland, USA and UK.
After moving around the world working mostly in the Fashion Industry, I settled in London, UK where I met my now husband. We have two children, a boy and a girl.
I'm an Ofsted registered childminder since January 2020. Due to Covid 19 I had to close my home nursery.
When I'm being asked why I started Mom To Be Sisterhood my answer is very simple...
'I'm passionate about supporting and empowering women through their pregnancy and becoming the mother they want to be. I want women to go through pregnancy and transition into motherhood without the risk of postpartum depression (PND).'
After going myself through a challenging pregnancy, suffering from PND and losing my identity in the role of motherhood, it was a no-brainer for me to do something to help other women go through their pregnancies and motherhood with more ease and happiness so that they can focus on their growing baby bump and eventually on their new-born!
My pregnancy journey
Life still happens when you are pregnant!
I was made redundant of a job I worked very hard for, shortly after I announced my pregnancy at just over one month. As I was suffering from morning sickness I felt it was the right thing to do and let the the company know the reason of my continues and sudden absence. It obviously didn't go down very well...LOL
However, it was a blessing in disguise because today I do what I love as a mom-preneur!
I live the life I wouldn't have had if they didn't let me go. Today I'm grateful!
During my pregnancy, my husband and I lost a lot of family members. This has put additional stress and strain on the relationship. It isn't easy to go through the pain of the loss of loved ones whilst growing life inside of you. Also, it isn't easy for a dad-to-be to go through such grievance and prepare for fatherhood. The pressure was on!
My way of dealing with the challenges was to concentrate on my growing baby. NOTHING was more important than looking after my mental health and ensure I was as calm as I possibly could during pregnancy.
It took us over 3 years, medical examination and an operation to get pregnant. Then we decided to go for an IVF treatment but I fell pregnant just 10 days before the first appointment. Amazing!
I would have never jeopardized my baby's health due to external circumstances.
It was very hard but I made it! And so can you!
I concentrated on preparing for birth and as I felt very overwhelmed by all the information out there I decided to create an excel spreadsheet to support me through the overwhelming information the internet provided. I called it 'The Baby King project plan'. It was very helpful for me to get an overview of everything I needed to know about and prepare before baby's arrival.
It included things like:
* pregnancy classes
* birth preparation
* shopping list for pregnancy, baby and new mommy
* my appointments
* hospital bag
* plans for a baby shower etc.
Everything that I could have thought of, I added to the project plan with times/ prices and need to do/have or good to do/have. It expanded to such a huge document that I am using it now as a base for the Mom To Be Sisterhood Programmes.
It was very useful to me and I know it will be very useful to you!
My birth journey
When it came to give birth I was very prepared. I was open minded that things could change and I was ready to take every moment as it came.
As a controlling person who needed a plan and didn't like dealing with the unknown, it wasn't easy for me to get to that point. CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) has helped a lot. So, if you are the type of person that likes to control situations and likes to know the unknown, which is often impossible to reach, CBT could be of help to you.
I wrote my birth plan, I attended several classes such as antenatal and hypnobirthing classes and I envisioned how I wanted to give birth.
At the end nothing went as planned!
First of all, I had a biiiiiiig baby. He weight almost 5kg/ 11pounds and was 63cm/24.8 inches long.
I was over 41 weeks pregnant when medical staff decided to induce me. I didn't want to be induced due to being a survivor of sexual abuse but the midwife suggested it to just give it a try. She promised to be very gentle. It was ok but unfortunately that was seen as a consents to continue with the inductions.
A day later I was admitted to hospital and the inductions continued and became more forceful and painful.
Nothing was happening! My baby boy didn't want to show up.
On the third or fourth day since the first induction, the doctor came to see me and we decided to give it a last go and if nothing would happen we would go for a semi emergency c-section. Which isn't an emergency but not a planned cesarean either.
That last induction was very uncomfortable to say the least! If you suffer from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) I would advise against this procedure.
Still nothing happened over night!
We therefore, went for a c-section at 42 weeks.
When the baby was born we found out that he could've never come out naturally as he was stuck in the womb with his neck twisted, the umbilical cord twice around his neck and a real knot was in it as well. I had double of the liquid in my belly too which splashed the medical staff unexpectedly. One of them had to go and change quickly.
As I was pushed out from the operating room, the surgeon advised to go for an elective cesarean with my second baby as usually they are even bigger!
Scary thought that your little one was in danger and no one noticed! Good that nature knows better and kept the baby safe inside of my body!
The postnatal care at the hospital was terrible!
Friends of mine from the antenatal class had mixed experiences but I had by far the worst one. It went so far that my husband wrote a complaint letter and we were invited to speak to the Consultant Midwife. She was very apologetic and took the case in her hands.
Today, she is looking after me with my current pregnancy as she promised to do at the time of our conversation. All I can say is: Ladies! Speak up! It does make a difference to other women and to YOU!
Due to the experience in the postnatal department I developed PND (Post Natal Depression). I was in danger of developing PND anyways, due to PTSD but I did all the right things to avoid it to happen. Unfortunately, this time the outside circumstances were too much for me to cope.
Coming Home With My Baby
When I first arrived home, it was a feeling of:
* freedom to have gone out of that terrible situation I found myself in the postnatal ward
* overwhelm as I was away from home for a total of 7 days. So much had happened in those days! I didn't feel the same person anymore
* having a little human being in my arms who dependent on me was daunting
Due to the complaint letter, I was referred to a special service. I'm very grateful to have had excellent professional support for the first 2 years of my boys life. It provided me with the opportunity to learn a lot about motherhood, baby's brain development and psychology and breastfeeding. Although I developed PND, which was avoidable, thanks to the complaint letter and to the Consultant Midwife, who activated post-partum care for me, I feel grateful for the support I received. I met wonderful women who do an amazing job to support mothers in their early stages of motherhood.
In general, when women leave the hospital with their newborns, they are left alone with the new chapter of their lives. If they don't have family members or good friends close by, it can be very difficult to overcome the challenges that the transition into motherhood brings. That's where I see gaps of care and differences of care depending on postcodes, areas where you live and countries. I find this unjust.
Furthermore, the relationship to your baby and that of your partner can become difficult. Sleepless nights for both of you and dad but especially for you, new mommy, who the child depends on 24/7 is a main issue for the new parents. The irritability, miscommunication between couples, frustration for various reasons, resentment towards your partner can be some of the challenges you need to overcome to stay in a happy and peaceful relationship. This is all based on my own experience and talking/ working with other new mothers.
That's why within my programmes you and your partner are supported throughout your pregnancy and you will receive guidance after child birth as well. We are going to look at your physical, emotional and mental wellbeing and provide you with a loving and supportive community, professionals of the field and of course I personally will be there throughout your journey too.
I will guide you step by step and should there be any complications I have the right professionals to look after you in my team which is constantly expanding.
THE ALL- INCLUSIVE MTBS HOSPITAL BAG CHECKLIST
This is the ONLY hospital bag checklist that will prepare you, baby and birth partner for any type of childbirth!